A self-assured alt-pop debut emerges amidst struggle and self-doubt
Written, recorded, produced, and released by emzae herself from home in Derby; this is truly DIY bedroom pop. It’s an album about being a pop-star; or rather, the dream of being a pop-star clashing with real life. Over 6 years in the making, the album essentially documents that journey, against a backdrop of health struggles and everything else life throws at you.
While not a concept album as such, it does seem to tell a broad tale across three acts; at least in mood, if not an overt narrative. The early songs represent the dream and its surrounding pretence. The dream meets reality and all of its struggles in the middle section. With acceptance and hope emerging in the closing tracks. (Don’t test me too much on this theory, cos it doesn’t totally stand up to scrutiny, but I’m sticking with it).
The album opens with one of its more overtly poppy moments in Overrated. The lyrics are relatively broad, albeit there’s a bit of subversion here which hints at the struggles to come; “live for tomorrow, not today”. The cracks gradually start to show over the next few tracks, as the pace slows and the tone becomes increasingly somber. Mainstream Y2K era pop has been sighted as a key influence, and that is evident on a number of tracks. But, just as evident is the influence of moodier 2010’s electro-influenced pop. As This Day Fades to Another takes cues from St. Vincent, Strip Lights wouldn’t be out of place on the Drive soundtrack, and Another Lesson Learnt has hints of Chvrches in their more contemplative moments. The likes of Overrated seem to represent an ideal, where the big shiny pop package helps to mask reality. While the moodier tracks bring reality to the fore.
One of the highlights is when the ideal and reality manage to meet in the middle. Some Kind of Cliché puts the big chorused, shiny pop wrap around self-effacing snapshots of emzae’s life. This is also the start of the album’s best stretch. Clairvoyant is the album’s most stripped-back moment; a piano ballad with some extra flourishes, which is almost like a flashback to an origin story. That leads into the ambient trip-hop of Lucid Dreaming and the excellent spacey pop of I Guess, Anyway.
As the various name and genre checks suggest, the album manages to cycle through a range of styles from song to song. It never feels jarring though. Partly, that’s due to the consistent lyrical themes, but it’s also because there’s always a sense of depth. The tracks are layered with various loops and vocal samples, rewarding repeated listens as more of these slowly reveal themselves over time. A common theme is conflicting instincts and urges, like wanting to achieve a dream, while also just needing to get by. And that shows in the music itself via these stylistic shifts.
The upbeat Y2K pop influence returns for the closing tracks. It’s not quite a triumph over adversity that would be the Hollywood happy ending. This is something more grounded; it’s a second chance, a celebration of the little wins, and finding the ideal within your reality.
Best tunes: As This Day Fades to Another, Some Kind of Cliché, Clairvoyant, I Guess, Anyway
Read more about emzae and the music that made her, on her ‘First, last, and everything in between’ feature.
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