It’s end of year list time. But before all the fawning praise, let’s balance it out with some snarky shit talk. 2024’s ten most overrated albums. To be clear, this is overrated, not worst. Some of these albums may even pop up in the good lists. But critical consensus is boring. So this is for anyone else who just doesn’t get the hype. Tongue is partly in cheek, but I also fully stand by these opinions. Do you feel the same? Well done, you have impeccable taste. Any of your favourites on the list? Sucker, you fell for the hype.
10. Liam Gallagher & John Squire
I doubt this is making many end of year lists, other than those of 50-year-old bucket-hatted Britpop casualties; presumably the same people getting Shed Seven two UK no.1 albums in 2024 (seriously, what the fuck is that about?). But, given the excitement of the Oasis reunion, I thought I’d serve a reminder that this is the kind of half-arsed dad-rock that you’re likely to get. The bit where he recites the colours of the rainbow is a lyrical nadir in a career with plenty of lyrical nadirs. It’s not biblical, it’s nostalgia.
9. The Lemon Twigs – A Dream Is All We Know
The Lemon Twigs haven’t quite broken out yet, but they’re making increasing waves with their blend of Beach Boys sunshine harmonies, mid-era Beatles psych and a dash of Simon & Garfunkel-style folk-pop. I like all of those things, but I hate this. Those groups were certainly capable of being soft, but this is some of the softest shit I’ve ever heard. La-la-la, wee-ooh-wee bullshit. I simply don’t believe any of it. The only thing this makes me believe is that they’ve spent too long in their parent’s record collection. This sounds like the soundtrack for a biopic of a fictional 60’s pop group. Saccharine, characterless musical cosplay.
8. Magdalena Bay – Imaginal Disk
I feel like there’s one of these albums every year (see 2023, Caroline Polachek). A couple of good synth-pop tunes. Then they dress in daft clothes and throw experimental sounds effects over the rest of their middling tunes so pretentious cunts can pretend like it’s groundbreaking. It’s ok to like pop music. At least listen to the stuff with better choruses.
7. Cindy Lee – Diamond Jubilee
I’m not gonna try to make out that this isn’t good. There’s not a bad song here, but I’d also argue that there isn’t a great one. And there’s 32 of them. I’m not convinced that there’s ever been a double LP that justifies its length, so you can fuck right off with a 2-hour-long triple LP. It’s already being cited as one of the albums of the decade, but what Diamond Jubilee really succeeds in is being a hipster status symbol. The musical hipster is somewhat of a dying breed when anyone can access anything on their phone. So an impenetrably long album that you can only access through a shitty old website is like a modern hipster wet dream; creating a veneer of exclusivity and inaccessibility that a normie simply wouldn’t get. The true hipster lives through overlong albums that aren’t available on DSPs.
(You can at least listen via Bandcamp now, and it is pretty good. You’ll just need a few sittings to get through it.)
6. Geordie Greep – The New Sound
C’mon. Are we being serious? We’re all hearing the same vocals aren’t we? I appreciate the weirdness that the former Black Midi frontman has concocted with sex-pest tales set to prog-salsa fusion. But, as long as he sings in one of the most deeply off-putting voices imaginable, there’s no way I’m gonna listen to an hour of it.
5. Taylor Swift – THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT
Eternally topping charts and eternally releasing minor updates on music she’s already released. Taylor’s Version, The Deluxe Anthology Version, The Ultra Exclusive Eras Version. Has there ever been a fanbase that is so willingly exploited? Swift has been around for almost two decades now, surely a sizeable portion of Swifties are adults at this point. Why are they so obsessive? It’s fucking weird. Is another round of thinly veiled celeb gossip set to music really that fascinating?
Anyway, I haven’t actually listened to this. It’s probably fine.
4. The Smile – Wall Of Eyes/Cutouts
Do we really have to extend Radiohead’s sacred cow status to their side projects as well? Technically proficient, occasional moments of beauty, but largely tedious. This is some of your favourite music? Stop kidding yourself. You’ve convinced yourself that boring = good because critics told you to. Also, Thom Yorke has a little tantrum if you talk about Palestine.
3. MJ Lenderman – Manning Fireworks
I like this, but the level of uncritical praise it received was pretty ridiculous. Lenderman has flashes of brilliance but tales of imagined sad-sack losers aren’t a sign of a songwriting great, they’re kind of cliché. He’s not quite at the level of lyrical genius when he’s throwing out clunkers like “Guess I’ll call you Rip Torn, The way you got tore up”. And he’s not some everyman, voice of a generation just because he wears jeans and ill-fitting t-shirts.
2. Knocked Loose – You Won’t Go Before You’re Supposed To
Many of you may wonder, who? Is a band peddling a blend of hardcore punk and heavy metal really a big enough concern to be considered overrated. But the Kentucky group are surprisingly popular. I appreciate that angsty American adolescents need music to rage/sulk to. But, what is more bizarre is the critical acclaim that Knocked Loose have achieved: they’ve even been nominated for a Grammy FFS. For any right-minded adult, the correct reaction is to listen to approx. 30-seconds of this, hear some of the most embarrassing vocals ever committed to record and turn it off in disgust.
But, what I really want to talk about is how the collapse of UK music journalism is to blame for this situation. With many publications being glorified PR rags, rock’s critical consensus is now largely set by dorks at the few American sites that still hold some cultural cache. Full-grown adult nerds writing earnestly about silly genres like fifth wave post-emo and metal-core revival, trying to justify that they’re still listening to drivel they should have grown out of 15 years ago. Most Brits possess a kind of built-in cringe-guard that immunises you from liking this sort of shit. But I just don’t think enough Americans grew up with the risk of being called a goth for wearing jeans. My point being, this is terrible and you should be bullied for liking it.
1. Charli XCX – BRAT
Look, I realise I’m probably far too old, settled, and straight for this. But BRAT exploded far beyond any sense of demographic niche. Charli has been well-respected, while hovering around the c-list of pop stardom for over a decade, but BRAT saw her truly break out into superstardom. BRAT and its offshoots contain a barrage of undeniably fun dance-pop club hits. But I’m not sure it’s ever more than fun. Charli’s lyrics can be refreshingly blunt and un-pretentious, but they can also veer into vacuous drivel. Really though, BRAT became far more than an album, it was a cultural moment.
A moronic cultural moment. A cultural moment for people who would say “why is it giving BRAT though” at the sight of a green inanimate object. A cultural moment for corporately and politically-approved PR opportunities. A cultural moment for people who genuinely care about whether their favourite popstar beats another popstar to no.1.
BRAT is being in the club when you’re getting too old for it. BRAT is speaking purely in phrases you’ve learned online. BRAT is openly smoking a cigarette that you can legally buy in a shop. BRAT is being as interested in the industry as the music – “Charli’s album rollout needs to be studied”. BRAT is surface level. BRAT is empty. BRAT is Kamala.
You’re not BRAT. You’re 35 and you’ve got a coke habit. Grow up.
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